Last Wednesday night, my mom and I ended up talking about the possibilities of me dating and how my family would probably take it. It was a hilarious discussion which ended up with her admitting to me that the one time I thought I was hanging out with a guy completely unobserved wasn’t as I thought it was. They watched me from across the street in the car. Of course, it was mostly my dad being his protective self, I am their only daughter after all. My mom was distracting him and giving me more time with the poor guy who apparently noticed them before I ever did! 😅
This was not the point of this post though. The point is that wasn’t even a date. The point is, I’ve never really been on a date. No one believes this though but the truth is no one’s ever really gone out of their way and said “Hey let’s go on a date.” (Which means I have no idea how I’ll handle it once it actually happens!) I’m not so lonely or desperate but I can’t help but wonder what it’s like, what with most of my batchmates already well into their relationships. Okay, I may be a tad envious. I might feel left behind. Why hasn’t it happened? Why hasn’t anyone picked me? I can’t help but wonder because friends tend to ask me too. I’ve heard “Totoo? Bakit?” (Is that true? Why?) and “Ah, may darating din, ikaw pa.” (Someone will come, it’s not impossible for you!) several times over the getting-to-know-you stages of a friendship. Am I too shy? Too happy? Too goofy? Unapproachable?
I’m honestly not sure what’s wrong, but me and some people have a few theories. Someone once said my standards may be too high. I personally don’t think so but I do have benchmarks, good friends and relatives who’ve been good (and good-looking) boyfriends. And why not? After all it’s forever I’m after (hehe so cliché!). Another person said it may be my face. I look like I haven’t aged since I turned seventeen. While it’s true that this is an advantage with regard to aging and looks, it doesn’t help when guys think you’re maybe twelve and won’t ask you out. I have been trying to dress and act more mature since. I’ve even been trying makeup. A good friend did tell me though that I’m good the way I am and I shouldn’t have to change. Thank you. ❤️ The third theory is that I’m not allowed to commute alone. How does this relate to the topic? Well, imagine when I actually have a date and it’s time to leave for said date. It’s either I’m fetched (and possibly followed by another family member, or manong driver) or I’m taken to and fetched from the date (by, again, a family member or manong). This is a complication especially if it’s a family member because as a friend pointed out, that would definitely be intimidating! What more if it’s my dad. I imagine the date would start and end on an awkward note. 🙈
It gets frustrating thinking about this sometimes, but especially when my mom brings on the ‘widen your social circles’ talk. I tend to stick to what’s comfortable and to do that requires doing new things and meeting new people. I’m not exactly a social butterfly but I try. It really just isn’t easy for a homebody/old soul like me. I am hopeful though that this will all work out somehow.
I hope when it does happen, whoever he is will hold me like
you do he/I was never missing, or like I am truly precious to him.
Good night, somebody.